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Identity: Horse chestnuts.

Age: Introduced to the UK over four centuries back.

Appearance: Nature's Labubu.

That can't be accurate. It is. Check out a TikTok video of someone revealing a conker, and you’ll probably hear them call it “nature's Labubu”.

Unboxing conkers? What on earth are you talking about? Oh wow, you are definitely not up to date, aren’t you? Gen Zers are using social platforms to record videos removing conkers from their spiky capsules.

What's the reason? Because of the sense of wonder! When you unbox a conker, you can't predict what you’re going to get. Could it be large? Will it be flat? How shiny will it be? It is like a mystery box every time!

Do Labubu dolls share those traits? No, they’re somewhat eerie dolls that have become highly sought-after because they also come in mystery boxes.

Would someone inform gen Z that they’re not using conkers correctly? Is that so? How do you do conkers, then?

Thread a lace through the center, and try to break others' nuts. Is that true? That’s unusual.

Yeah. Your odds improve if you soak the conker in vinegar overnight and then bake it like a pie. Seriously?

Truly. And should you gather an excess, you can toss them in the schoolyard and all the other kids will fight each other for them. A lovely item from nature like a conker, and you use it as a tool for battle? A weapon that comes with a lengthy list of complex and confusing guidelines?

That's the custom! The King recently awarded the World Conker Championships with a gift of 300 conkers! At least gen Z is only filming them.

How are you unaware of this? At a guess, because some schools started banning conkers twenty years back, due to various health and safety fears.

The modern world never fails to amaze me. Maybe unboxing conkers just doesn't appeal to you. In which case, perhaps you would be better suited to some other hot new gen Z trends.

Is that so? Like what? Well, there’s this thing called knitting, and something else called pottery that I can describe for you.

We’ve had knitting and pottery for centuries! Let me guess, you heat tools in apple drink and then use them to jab one another?

Certainly not! OK, relax. I assumed that all older generation's pastimes involved some type of aggression, after that conker thing.

This is overwhelming. Take a breath. If you need me, I’ll be opening plant seeds online.

Do say: “Social media loves showcasing nut discoveries.”

Don’t say: “This is nuts.”